I am an Ulula mummy. As Ulula celebrates Breastfeeding Week, Ulula asked me whether my journey into breastfeeding my little one might be shared, and so here it is…
I have discovered as I have got older, that I am a do-er. When I am worrying about something, or when I meet something ‘new’, I do. Anything. Something. Sometimes it is a useful anything/something, sometimes it isn’t. My first port of call is always books, research, finding out what other people think, what other people do. Can I do that to…
I couldn’t get pregnant – the research began. I got pregnant – the research and reading stepped up another level. I gave up control of my body – weird. I lived through the birth. Can’t think about that yet. I was expected to feed, straight away, now, but hang on – where’s the book?
So, the midwife latched little one on and I lay there out of it, not really caring what way was up, and apparently the first drink took place and everyone was very pleased with me. Yay.
24 hours long hours later, after much projectile vomiting and one stomach pump – they can really do that on one so small – we were successful again. Just.
But, nobody tells you how much it hurts. Or was it just me? And then the mastitis – what was that all about. And then how do you know it is working well enough – you can’t see how much is being drunk. And there is not a book on this planet that warns you, prepares you, gets you ready for the reality of breastfeeding your baby. Or is it just me?
Then your friends have no issues, the midwife says you are doing well… nothing said seems to help and nothing read makes a positive difference. I realised I was on my own. Gulp.
But although I seemingly had given up, I had written a note when I was furiously researching through my pregnancy, and left it where my poor befuddled baby brain could make sense of it. Holle! I was a Holle baby. My furious internet searching had led me as an adult to the products, and so I found Ulula and the Nursing Tea. Holle had done the research for me and all I had to do was drink. Hello world, I was thinking that I might be ok after all.
I know it is weird in a way that the Holle Tea inspired so much faith and trust in me in that bleak moment – more than the ‘experts’ around me. Perhaps I felt like I was coming home, or that I had my mum alongside me. I don’t know and I haven’t the funds to explore through deeply delving into my psyche!
What I knew was I had found a crutch and that crutch worked for me. I drank the tea; I was producing enough milk – I could see I was now – my little one was happy and thriving, and although this whole step of my feeding meant I still had no control over my body – in fact, oddly, this felt even more challenging than when I was pregnant – we were managing. I was managing.
So, just as I had been on the threshold of total and absolute panic, and the poor hubby was looking very scared, I stopped worrying quite so much; I drank a lot of Holle Nursing Tea, and in doing so I found a friend who I could trust in to carry me through the scary moments and be there alongside a biscuit for the peaceful ones too.
It didn’t help with the feeding in public trauma, or help with the next hoops that I got thrown through as I learnt to be a mummy. What it did do was help me, a mum who wanted to try and breastfeed, get enough milk to be able to succeed in my wish. I am no earth mother. I do not feel I am a natural mother. I need the books to help me with each and every phase and stage. Holle Tea helped me as I learnt to breastfeed, and Holle continues to help me now with my growing little one… but that’s another story!